.Tuesday, April 28, 2009 ' 9:50 PM
xxx
i'm losing hope in life again... whatever effort i'm putting in now doesnt seem to be having any results... or maybe the results just wont be out so soon... and i'm just too impatient...
what can i say except to blame myself for the rash and stupid decisions i've made... and now, i'm just losing myself into despair... i know i'm fucking stupid to do this... but i just wanna emo... at least for now...
i know clearly whats wrong and what to do... but i prefer to run away... just like all other beings, i wanna run away from all my problems and hopefully, it'll just disappear...
just like how a vehicle cant move without fuel... i'm someone who has no motivation to move on... i'm tired of having to go through hardship... i dread it... really...
but again, this isnt the worst time in my life... i've been through worst stuff and made it through happily...
i'm very contradicting... very very very...
i know what i want but i'm not working towards it... i know well enough that life is full of ups and downs...
too much cruel facts of life i know just demoralise me damn a lot... making me so dont wanna move on... life's just so damn unfair... but what have i done to be deserve to be treated fairly...
i really wanna move on and i know i damn have to... at least for someone... or at least for myself...
