.Saturday, January 10, 2009 ' 10:46 AM
xxx
as i was posting my previous post... the thought of me blogging wat happened came to my mind... why i suddenly made such a decision to end a 4.5 years relationship...
love itself is just not enough...
not too long ago, i was told:
a couple should be 2 independent individuals coming together, inter-depending on each other to compliment each other...thats my belief...
who wants a guy to depend on a girl... believes in controlling people... priorities his own needs... gets physically abusive...
i wont deny that there were good times... but are the good times enough for us to go on? no... it has became good memories... and his good memories just wont continue...
in a relationship, it takes 2 hands to clap... although i only did little stuff, but it's all this little stuff that adds together and makes a difference... but he didnt understand... he threw this away...
we got together, stayed on together, only for the sake of dylan...
love... it somehow left us very quietly... thats why everything ended up just being habits...
its a real pity... i agree... how we stayed on so long but surprisingly, we didnt put in any effort to make things work...
when did i stopped loving him? i dont know either... but i know its probably when he first hit me... the love between us started to fade...
and yes, i did hit him... and he pushed me to my limits to wanna kill him so badly... there were times at night when i so wanna just kill him... but i didnt...
whatever we had has become part of our memories... its really sad that things didnt worked out well... but in life, everyone has to move on... and its from things like that, will we learn...
this huge lesson learnt will be kept in my heart... its definitely not gonna happen again...
i'm not some pathetic bitch who is gonna cry saying "why is life so cruel to me"...
i chose this path myself... tough times wont last long... its hard now for me... really... with the watever shit he has left me in...
as much as i dont wanna go through all this, i have to... for this is the path i've carved out for myself...
